Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize