Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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