Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
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