If i come over, it means nothing
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize