one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
