My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
