wakey wakey hands off snakey
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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