hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
