Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
handjob tips. give me some.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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