Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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