i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
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