bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
