dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
