we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
