Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
