It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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