Soap is not a condiment
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
