Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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