It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
How many fucks given?
0.12846
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
