careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
You can't special order awesome
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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