He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
So much Jack, so little girl.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
