So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
