Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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