i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I look better un-naked...
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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