im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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