He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
