Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
