There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
