What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
