Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
