I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Randomize
