I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize