i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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