I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize