At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
as a side note pls kill me
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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