I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
