Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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