Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
