I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize