Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
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