the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I believe in your delicious
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
