My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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