Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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