there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
