I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
there is glitter all over my balls
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