i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
