Small penises have feelings too.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I just want to make out with him forever
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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