Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
