oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
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