thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
