so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
