remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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