sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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