just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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