His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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