belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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