everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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