no, he came in my armpit
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
