turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
