its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Did you just see the Batmobile???
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
