can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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