I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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