He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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