Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
